The radio crackles, the screen in the ambulance jumps in to life as we are diverted from our lower priority call.
The surroundings light up in a mixture of red, white and blue LEDs, stopping traffic while we U-turn the ambulance towards this trauma call.
More information is sent our way: Patient has been stabbed with a stool.
After a short moment whilst I try to envisage such a scene, I turn to my partner and say: “We’ll need a stool sample”.
To which the reply comes: “Probably won’t be too difficult, they should have some stool hanging out of them”.